The love we had before
by paramorefan1827
Summary: What would happen if Ron and Hermione had never talked about that kiss and Hermione walked out of Ron's life forever. Or so he thought... please review!
1. Chapter 1

Hermione walked silently towards the Gryffindor common room trying to find Ron. She'd looked outside, but he was nowhere to be seen. She didn't have to give a password to the fat lady and had just walked through the portrait hole. As she walked in she noticed that someone was sitting on the couch staring into the fire. The fire was dimming so she couldn't be sure who the person was until she got over to the couch. To her disappointment it wasn't Ron, but Harry sitting on the couch.

"Have you seen Ron? I can't find him anywhere." She asked him quietly.

"He's probably in the great hall with the rest of the families." He answered not taking his eyes away from the fire. Had it been different circumstances she probably would have asked him what was wrong, but she wanted to find Ron so badly that nothing else mattered. All she wanted to do was find Ron. As she walked away she imagined the grief that the Weasleys must be feeling. She knew that this wasn't the right time for her to be talking to Ron about this, but she had to. She had to talk to him about the kiss they had shared earlier. She wondered if it had just been a spur of the moment thing that would never happen again or if he actually had feelings for her. She knew that _she _loved _him_. She'd loved him since their sixth year. Unfortunately it had taken Ron going out with Lavender to make her realize it. On the bright side the past year trying to find horcruxes had only made her feelings grow.

Once she got to the great hall she opened the door a little bit and poked her head in, looking for her favorite red haired family. She finally spotted them sitting at a table to the far right. Mrs. Weasley and Mr. Weasley were in a tight embrace, Mrs. Weasley sobbing on his shoulder. The rest of them were sitting there unmoving with tears in their eyes. After watching them for a couple minutes she changed her mind. Now wasn't the right time to bring it up. He might think that she was insensitive and didn't care that his brother had been killed. She thought about going over and just sitting next to him to comfort him, maybe hold his hand. She decided against it though thinking that it would be a bit odd considering that they hadn't talked yet. She stood there for a couple minutes staring at nothing before she closed the door.

As she walked towards the giant doors leading outside she wondered where everyone else was. There hadn't been a lot of people in the great hall. Well, there _were_ a lot, but not nearly as many that had been involved in the battle. When she opened the doors she was taken aback by how bright the moon was. She slowly walked over to the edge of the black lake taking in the damage that had been done. With one quick glance back she could see that Hogwarts had nearly been destroyed.

There were giant holes in the roof from the giants and the destructive spells that'd been cast. In several places there were gapingly large holes in the walls. As she gazed at the castle she thought about how close Hogwarts looked to collapsing. She was surprised that it was still standing. Her thoughts were directed back to Ron as she turned back around to look over across the black lake. As she looked at the moon she sat down on the wet grass, making a light crunching noise as she did so. She felt her eyes start to close after about ten minutes and lay back on the grass without any worries about getting killed or putting protective charms around herself.

_Two months later…_

Hermione sat quietly next to Ron on the couch in the living room glancing around at the faces around her. They all had the same sort of distant gaze on their faces that came from losing a loved one. The sadness hadn't subsided at all since the battle. They hadn't even rejoiced about Voldemort being gone. She knew that it was a sad time for them, but nothing was the way that it should be. Everything was still the same as it'd been the first few weeks after they'd returned. The only thing that had changed was that they talked occasionally and Mrs. Weasley was back to making dinner every night. They weren't big dinners, but it tasted a heck of a lot better than the food they'd eaten over the past year.

The thing that Hermione was most disappointed about though was Ron. She'd accepted that he wasn't going to talk about a relationship between the two of them during the first week and had been supportive about everything. After three weeks she was a little frustrated about it, but she kept making excuses as to why he hadn't tried to talk to her about it yet. He's probably just waiting fir the right time, maybe he's nervous, maybe he's still sad and needs more time, he probably wants to make sure that his family doesn't think that he doesn't care about his brother's death, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. The list went on and on.

The thought of why he hadn't attempted to talk to her was constantly haunting her mind. She'd stuck by him the whole time, held his hand, hugged him when he needed it. She'd been through it all and more in the past couple months. Not that she was complaining. She was happy to help with whatever she could, but it'd be even better if Ron would just _tell_ her how he felt instead of making her wonder if the kiss had been a spur of the moment thing. They didn't even have to start a relationship yet. She was just _tired of waiting_. She was going to get him to talk to her.

"Where are you going?" He asked her as she stood up.

"I'm going to get a bit of fresh air." She said.

"Mind if I join you?" He asked.

"Sure." She said as she walked in to the kitchen. She opened the door, but didn't go outside. Instead she just leaned against one side of the door frame with her arms crossed and stared up at the moon. Ron was so quiet next to her that she forgot that he was there and broke down and started to cry.

"Hermione, what's wrong?" Ron asked her worriedly as he put his arms around her. She pulled away so quickly that you could hear the swoosh of the air as it flew past her body.

"What's wrong? What's wrong?! Are you seriously asking me what's wrong?!" She yelled her mood quickly changing to one of anger. "I've been waiting for _months. _Months, Ron! You haven't said a _thing_. And look at you! You don't even know what I'm talking about. I'm so sick of this, Ron! Why can't you just.... I _love _you, Ron! That kiss _meant_ something to me. I took a risk when I did that. I took a risk because I thought that you felt something for me, but obviously you didn't, so I'm-I'm just gonna-I'm just gonna go." She said, the tears running rapidly down her face as she started to turn the other way.

"Hermione, I…" Ron said trying to pull her back.

"Don't _ever_ touch me again." She said furiously as she turned on the spot. By the time Ron had tried to stop her again, she'd already apparated into the darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

_5 Years Later…_

Hermione stood in the phone booth that led down to the atrium of the Ministry of Magic. She was getting frustrated. She had to get to the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures before the head of the department went home and the phone booth was going too slow for her liking. She was going to bring up the issue of S.P.E.W. again. She'd already sent letters, but had never gotten a response. At one time she'd thought that the head of the department was purposely ignoring her because _he_ had a house elf. When the lift finally got to the bottom she was so frustrated that as soon as the doors opened she bounded out of them. She hadn't taken more than three steps before she'd run into somebody and dropped all her papers on the floor as well as knocking the other persons things out of their hands and on the floor.

"I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention." She said as she bent down and started to pick up her papers. Both pairs of hands moved rapidly across the floor collecting papers until suddenly the other set of hands picked up a paper that Hermione had signed.

"Hermione Granger." The voice whispered. Hermione looked up to see why the other person had said her name and her eyes locked with those ever so familiar blue eyes. She felt her throat close up and tears threatening to fall from her eyes, but her eyes remained dry.

"Ron." She whispered back even quieter. She knew they must look weird just sitting in the middle of the atrium staring at each other while papers lay scattered on the floor around them. She suddenly felt something rest upon her cheek, but didn't bother to push it away. Ron seemed to remember something though because he quickly pulled his hand away.

"I missed you." He said. Hermione was shocked and didn't know what to say. He'd never been that open before.

"I- I, um- it's been a while." She said nervously. "I- I should get going." She said as she quickly picked up the rest of her papers. She wanted to stay and talk to him, but she was so nervous that she didn't even know what to say, which was something that rarely ever happened. They both stared up , but as she started to walk away, Ron grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Have lunch with me tomorrow." She looked like she was about to protest, but he just kept on talking. "Don't say no. Just think about it. I'll know your answer if you show up or not. Twelve-thirty at the Leaky Cauldron." He said and he turned and kept walking in the direction he'd been going.

Hermione didn't know if she would go or not, but she suddenly felt elated for some reason. She was so happy that she didn't even bother going to the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. She turned around and headed back towards the oh so frustrating phone booth.

The next day Hermione stood outside the Leaky Cauldron nervously as she debated with herself on whether she should go in or not. If she just left, Ron would never know she had even been there. She'd decided that she was definitely going to go the night before, but as soon as she saw that red hair she freaked out and couldn't do for some reason. After she'd stood there for at least ten minutes she decided to just suck it up and go inside. As soon as she opened the door every head turned in her direction like they'd been waiting for her to come in. the only person that she was paying attention to didn't turn around though. She guessed that he'd probably thought that she wasn't going to come, so she walked over.

"You _still_ read that?" She asked him skeptically as she approached his table and saw that he was reading a new edition of the Quibbler. Seeing the Quibbler brought about the realization that Hermione hadn't seen Luna in three or four years, but she quickly pushed those thoughts off to the side.

"You came!" Ron said excitedly as he jumped up and gave her an awkward hug. After he'd pulled away he went to the other side of the table and pulled out the chair for Hermione. As she sat down she thought about how much more of a gentleman he was that before. Once he'd sat back down and they'd ordered their food, they sat in silence for a couple minutes until Hermione decided to try and make some conversation.

"So what's Xenophilius Lovegood writing about now?" She asked, pointing to the magazine on the table.

"Actually Luna's in charge of the Quibbler now," He said, his tone saddening a bit. "Xenophilius was killed a couple years ago. Some of Voldemort's old death eaters. We got 'em though."

"That's terrible. So, you're an auror now?"

"Yeah. Me and Harry together. Each got a couple scars to prove it. What do you do?"

"I work at the National Wizarding Library. I worked at the Hogwarts library for about a year before that too."

"Typical Hermione. Working at a library." He said with a laugh.

The waiter arrived with their food shortly after. Ron, of course, had gotten the largest thing on the menu. Chicken legs, potatoes, vegetables, sausages, puddings, cakes, steak, treacle tart, pie, etc…. they didn't talk much while they were eating except for the occasional bit of small talk. After they'd finished eating and the waiter had taken their plates they sat in an awkward silence. Ron chose to be the one to break the silence this time.

"I'm sorry." He said softly, all traces of laughter leaving the air.

"What?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Not saying something sooner." As soon as the words left his mouth she knew what he was talking about.

"Ron, it's fine. You don't need to-" She started, but was interrupted.

"Hermione, it's not fine. I made you _cry_. I know it's been five years, but I still feel terrible about it. I love you and I blew it. Hell, after all these years I _still_ love you. Just give me another shot and I swear I won't ruin it." He said taking hold of her hand. The tears were falling rapidly from her eyes and it took all of his power to restrain himself from getting up and pulling her into his arms.

"Ron, stop. I-I- I can't."

"Why not? Don't still love me even a little bit?"

"I'm getting married!" She said, holding up her left hand to reveal a diamond ring on her finger.

"To who?" He said sounding hurt. As if he'd just had his heart ripped out of his chest and stepped on.

"Does it matter, Ron? All that matters is that I can't be with you. You lost your chance five years ago when you let me walk away." She said as she stood up and ran out the door. Ron's mind had sort of become detached from his body and he couldn't really grasp what was happening as he let Hermione walk away from his for the second time in five years.


End file.
